Two Wendys: The Power of What You Can Control

Two scenarios:

Let’s call our character Wendy.

Wendy has a stressful job — let’s say she is a shopkeeper. I can already hear all the nurses, social workers and doctors puffing and huffing: “A shopkeeper? Stressful?”

The truth is, all jobs can be stressful, regardless of what you do. You can be stressed because you have ten patients to see at once, you can be stressed because you have four children who really need your support, or you can be stressed because, like Wendy, you work for a twat of a boss — whom we’re going to call Rennie. You have a queue of twenty people, all Gen Z, the instant‑gratification generation, and they cannot cope with waiting longer than five seconds. You also have to stock the shelves and cash up after your shift. It will take you at least thirty minutes you’re not getting paid for.

Oh, and Rennie ordered the wrong window display, and somehow this is your fault. So Rennie decides to put you down in front of the agitated queue. She tells Wendy she is “useless” and she should “do better next time” because she is very “disappointed in Wendy” and Wendy isn’t working to her “full potential.” We’ve all heard it, haven’t we?

Wendy works her hours, deals with grumpy Gen Zs, and works an unpaid extra hour because Rennie added a few bits for her to do — because Wendy is “so efficient.” So efficient that she can basically do tomorrow’s jobs too. Wendy was brought up to be a nice girl; she grew into a nice woman who does not cry because she doesn’t want to look angry. She is a woman, so she “cannot” get angry in case people think she is on her period. And she cannot say no to Rennie because, God forbid, she was “rude” or “unhelpful.”

Wendy commutes an hour back home. She tries to listen to her audiobook but cannot focus — she is stressed.

She gets home. She lives alone with her dog. She lets the dog out into the garden because she cannot be bothered to walk; it is cold and raining.

Wendy then grabs whatever is in the first cupboard, eats it, and watches Netflix until she passes out on the sofa. She wakes up at 3 a.m., drags herself to bed, and struggles to wake up at six to do it all again.

That’s probably how Wendy ended up overweight and a little demotivated. The late nights, long commute and Rennie all contribute to emotional overeating, lack of movement and binge‑watching TV. The habit of choosing the easiest option. And, to be honest, it makes her feel better for a bit — until the guilt washes over her because she saw on Instagram and TikTok that she “should be doing more.”

But how? She works long hours, gets home late, is exhausted, and also… she deserves a bit of time for herself, doesn’t she?

Time for herself. Time to invest in her mental and physical wellbeing. She deserves that. We all do.

So let’s look at scenario number two.

Wendy is a stressed shopkeeper — especially today, with a queue of twenty Gen Zs who are generation instant. They hate queueing. There is nothing Wendy can do about it, so she apologises to each one of them, serving them with a smile and wishing them a happy day. One of them even returns a smile, and Wendy decides to hold on to that one smile and forget the other grumpy nineteen. This is something Wendy can control.

Rennie has a go at her again — calls her useless and other bits. Wendy knows that when something isn’t going well in Rennie’s life, she takes it out on other people. Wendy isn’t brave enough to call her out, so she listens, but mentally she is in Hawaii sipping a pina colada. She smiles and nods. It is not okay what Rennie is doing, but Wendy cannot control that. What Wendy can control is not letting Rennie get into her head.

At the end of the day, Wendy is met with a long to‑do list — things that should be Rennie’s jobs for tomorrow. Wendy knows she cannot refuse, because if she did, she wouldn’t sleep well, overthinking Rennie’s disappointment. So she does the jobs. She was brought up to be a nice person; she is a self‑proclaimed pushover and she knows she shouldn’t be doing those tasks. But her anxiety would be worse if she didn’t. This is, again, something Wendy can control — what she can and cannot cope with.

So she gets on with the job, but at the same time she listens to her favourite music through one earbud (because she still needs to be aware of her surroundings). She sings along and actually enjoys it, even though she isn’t getting paid.

During her hour‑long commute, she listens to her favourite podcast about brain development. She does not want to be a shopkeeper forever, so she listens to these podcasts in the hope that one day she will become a mental health worker. She has an interest in the brain, mental health and all that jazz. One step closer to her ultimate goal — and one step for her own brain to learn something new. Fantastic.

At home she is greeted by her dog, who clearly missed her all day. She thinks herself lucky — how many people come back to a totally empty house, tired like her, with nobody to greet them? Wendy feels grateful, and with that she takes the dog for a welly walk — it is raining after all. They walk only five minutes, but the fresh air makes Wendy feel a bit more energetic, so she food‑preps for now and for tomorrow. She cooks the same thing but in a larger quantity. Tomorrow Wendy will thank her for a healthy lunch. Nothing too fancy — just a poached egg, rocket leaves, pasta and cucumber. It all takes about eleven minutes, including washing up.

She showers and washes off the stress of the day. After her shower she jumps into bed and reads her favourite Danielle Steel novel — no judgement here, Wendy, you do you. Be happy. Wendy falls asleep while reading. Tomorrow she wakes up naturally just before six, full of energy to face another day in paradise.

We all have the power to decide which Wendy we want to be.

We all have the power to control what we can.